Military Divorce and Custody Agreements: What You Need to Know
Aug. 2, 2025
Military service can create unique challenges for families, especially when relationships end in divorce. For service members and their spouses, balancing military obligations with the legal, emotional, and logistical aspects of divorce can be particularly demanding.
One of the most sensitive and important aspects of a military divorce involves children.
Reaching a clear and workable custody agreement is critical, as deployments, relocations, and inconsistent schedules can disrupt traditional parenting plans. As family dynamics shift during and after military service, understanding how to manage these changes within the legal system is essential.
The Law Office of Angus U Ejiofor, LLC, works with clients to help them understand how military service affects divorce proceedings, parental rights, and long-term custody plans. Located in East Orange, New Jersey, the firm also serves communities in Orange, Newark, and Bloomfield.
Learn how military status impacts divorce proceedings, parenting responsibilities, custody agreements, and the rights of both active-duty and non-military parents.
Military Divorce Laws and Protections
A military divorce generally includes the same fundamental elements as any other divorce—property division, spousal support, and child-related issues. However, the federal laws and military regulations that govern these divorces can create additional legal considerations.
Federal Protections and State Jurisdiction
Military divorces are governed by both federal and state laws. Federal laws like the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) offer certain protections to active-duty service members, such as the ability to delay court proceedings while on duty.
Despite these federal protections, family law is primarily regulated by state law. Therefore, where the divorce is filed matters.
Residency and jurisdiction requirements: Service members and their spouses can typically file for divorce in:
The state where the service member is stationed
The state where the service member claims legal residence
The state where the spouse resides
Understanding these varying state laws and federal protections is critical for military families working through divorce.
The Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA)
This federal statute governs how military retirement pay is treated in divorce. Under USFSPA:
State courts can divide military pensions as property
Former spouses may receive direct payments from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) if married for at least 10 years, with 10 years of overlapping military service
These provisions affect the financial aspects of divorce, but they often intersect with child-related matters, particularly when determining the financial support available for children covered under a custody agreement.
Child Custody in Military Divorces
Military obligations can complicate decisions related to physical and legal custody. Frequent relocations, deployments, and demanding work schedules call for a custody plan that is both adaptable and enforceable.
Factors Affecting Custody Decisions
When courts review custody issues in a military divorce, they focus on the best interests of the child. However, military life adds some extra layers to that evaluation.
Deployment risks: A parent facing imminent deployment may not be granted primary physical custody unless the court finds strong reasons to do so.
Relocation concerns: Military transfers can result in frequent moves, which may affect school stability, health care access, and continuity in relationships.
Unpredictable schedules: Service members might have duties that change without notice, making shared parenting schedules harder to manage.
Considering these factors is critical for crafting custody agreements that best serve the child's needs within the unique context of military life.
Creating a Flexible Custody Agreement
A custody agreement should account for the unique challenges of military life, anticipating potential disruptions. A well-crafted agreement can minimize future conflicts and help both parents adjust to evolving circumstances.
Include a deployment clause: This outlines what happens when a parent is deployed, including temporary custody arrangements.
Create a communication plan: Specifies how the child and deployed parent will maintain regular contact.
Address long-distance parenting: When one parent moves out of state, the plan should cover travel costs, visitation schedules, and virtual visits.
Include a right of first refusal: If the custodial parent becomes unavailable, the other parent has the first option to care for the child.
Proactive planning in these areas provides stability and continuity for the child, even amidst the demands of military life.
Temporary Custody During Deployment
During deployment, service members often need to modify custody arrangements temporarily. Courts typically support temporary custody transfers, as long as the modifications don’t interfere with the child’s stability or safety.
In many states, military parents can request that custody be temporarily assigned to a relative or family friend during deployment, especially when the other parent isn’t available or is considered unfit. However, courts usually prioritize the child’s relationship with the non-deployed parent unless compelling evidence supports a different arrangement.
Courts may allow third-party custody: Only when it serves the child’s interests and the biological parent consents or is unavailable
Temporary orders expire: Once deployment ends, custody typically reverts back to the original agreement, unless circumstances have significantly changed
Such temporary orders confirm continued stability for the child while accommodating the challenges of military service.
Modifying a Custody Agreement After Military Service
Life after active duty often brings significant changes in circumstances. When a service member leaves the military, custody and visitation schedules may need to be adjusted. Job changes, new housing, and shifting family dynamics can all prompt requests for custody modification.
Parents may petition for a change in the custody agreement when:
One parent relocates: A significant move may require changes to the current plan
A child’s needs evolve: As children grow, their educational, social, and medical needs may change
A parent’s availability improves: For example, a parent leaving active duty may now be more available for day-to-day parenting
Safety becomes a concern: If the environment in one household is no longer suitable, courts may review custody
To modify a custody agreement, courts will still apply the best interest standard. A parent must demonstrate that the proposed changes support the child’s well-being and stability.
Child Support and Military Income
Calculating child support in military divorces often involves interpreting various forms of military compensation. Base pay, Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), and special duty pay are typically considered when determining income levels.
Each state has its own formula, but generally, child support is based on:
Gross monthly income: Includes all regular and special military pay
Number of children involved
Custody arrangement: The time spent with each parent can influence the payment amount
Health insurance and child care expenses: Courts consider whether either parent pays for medical coverage or daycare
The military requires service members to provide support for their dependents, even before a formal court order is entered. Failure to pay court-ordered support can lead to wage garnishment, disciplinary action, or loss of rank.
Legal Support for Military Families
Military families often turn to legal professionals who understand both state family law and military service-related regulations. Although many installations offer legal assistance offices, these services typically don’t represent clients in court. A civilian family law lawyer is needed for filing, litigation, and negotiating custody agreements.
A lawyer who understands military divorce laws can help:
Clarify legal options, especially around pension division, custody rights, and deployment-related orders
Draft clear custody agreements that reflect military duties and personal goals
Manage jurisdictional issues, particularly when families have lived in multiple states
Prepare for court proceedings by gathering documentation and witness support
Working with a lawyer also helps avoid delays caused by procedural errors, especially for service members who are stationed overseas or on active duty in remote areas.
Military divorce may feel more challenging due to these moving parts, but a well-structured custody agreement can reduce stress and limit future disputes.
Reach Out to the Law Office of Angus U Ejiofor, LLC
Military service adds unique challenges to family transitions, especially when children are involved. If you’re dealing with a military divorce or want to modify an existing plan, Attorney Angus Ejiofor can guide you through each step. The firm serves clients in East Orange, Bloomfield, Newark, and Orange, New Jersey. Call today to resolve issues that arise during your military divorce.